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Listen to Both Your Smart Heart and Head

September 20, 2021 - Reading time: 2 minutes

Communication rules in healthy happy relationships. There is an increasingly widespread idea that the important thing for people to keep in mind when entering a union our their feelings as well as the feelings of their partner. These can often get lost in the hubbub. According to this idea, our feelings should be the compass that guide the relationships between two people, influence them when making decisions, decide what is right or wrong, define the aspects of their relationship that they want to develop.

It's been often put aside in favor of one's will and intelligence, today it is seen as one of three important factors, which is also the key element in the relationship because it was common belief that it's going to be the easiest sense of reason to follow. This is seen a lot at work especially when we "feel tired" (feelings/emotions are exhausting to handle at times) we don't finish our job well, rather than being strong and doing it right.

This makes sense.

Therefore it also makes sense that the same be applied to the principle of marriage, this would work so long as we are clear about our feelings, so rather than when you stop "feeling" love for the spouse, the marriage loses its meaning. Taken from this perspective it is no wonder that it is increasingly widespread phenomena. That is to say when feelings begin to disappear a couple's coexistence is made into an uphill battle. Situations like these ultimately begin to force many people to start looking outside for what they do not find inside. Instead of focusing their attention and effort on regaining or rebuilding that love, they get carried away with what they feel is the easiest solution: feeling like victims and seeking comfort elsewhere.

The notion that something so fundamental and natural affects such intimate aspects of people -- as love cannot be based exclusively on something as fragile and brittle as feelings -- that by their very nature are oscillating and subject to ups and downs that. In fact in most cases they do not merely depend on the will of oneself. As most well know feelings depend on many factors, both of which are internal and external to oneself. Factors such as climatology, tiredness, hormonal disarrays, stress, etc... make our feelings and moods vary greatly. Marriage must be entrenched and built on something more solid like than emotion, but it cannot survived with will and intelligence alone. It must be guided by the heart and head, which makes an intelligent love, a lasting bond.